Relationships Jealousy Insecurity

The next morning we made arrangements to have the furniture donated to the Gay Lesbian Bisexaul Transgender Community Center and for the boxes to be dropped off at the UPS down the street. With cat in tow, we headed to the airport and I said to myself “Never Again” what I said before every move I had ever made. California, New York, and now South Florida. I also had said it after breaking up with Jill Siegel, the co-dependent passive-aggressive ex-lover of mine. However, here I was in a serious relationship again leaving my country for a new life in Europe.

The plane ride to Amsterdam was uneventful. We sat in silence as do all travelers whether they are on the Long Island Railroad or Alitalia. Something about traveling muted conversation and this was no exception. Hanna had her hand on my knee, and I had my hand on hers. I looked out the window, and she had her head on my shoulder.

I thought about Bozo in the luggage department and hoped she was all right. The flight attendants busily chatted with their colleagues. The movie flashed without sound because we did not bother buying the headsets. I could hear the din of the air pumping through the nozzles. The white noise put me to sleep.

We awoke in Amsterdam. We collected our baggage and Bozo and went through customs. This time it went smoothly because we did not have any drugs on us. I could see the bicycle riders out the window. We hailed a cab.

We arrived at the doorstep of her loft, and went in, I with my few worldly possessions, she with me, her new lover. The light flickered on her answering machine, and she played the messages.

“Hi. This is Mom. How are you? Where have you been?” said the disembodied voice on the machine.

“Hi. This is Olga. I’ve got to talk to you.” At this, my heart sank.

“I thought it was over, Hanna. What does she want from you?” I said angrily.

“You know ex’s. They always pop up. I’ve got to call her. I want to know what’s going on.”

“Hanna, you can’t. She may want to get back with you.”

“It’s over, Penelope. You should not feel threatened.”

“I don’t trust any ex’s on the scene. Not after what happened to Jill and I. Her and her ex were separated for six years and got back together. I don’t want you to see her.”

“Let me just call her. It could be just a family crisis. I’ve known her for ten years and know her family.”

“Ten years? Why didn’t you ever mention her?”